I Had This Thing

 

Lyrics

I had this thing to call my own

Just one slip and it was gone

A minor flaw and then it fell

I brought this house down on myself

I didn't know just what I'd done

I didn't know just what I'd done

I don't remember anymore what I used to be

Where is the quiet piece of home where I could breathe?

Just like a razor to my soul when I'm alone

Oh, I had this thing to call my own

I'm so confused, I cannot see

This wave of guilt is drowing me

It feels like blood is on my hands

I'd give it all for a second chance

I still don't know just what I've done

I still don't know just what I've done

I don't remember anymore what I used to be

There was a fire burning strong inside of me

Just like the soothing loving warmth of summer sun

Oh, I had this thing to call my own

I had this thing to call my own

I had this thing to call my own

I never meant to let you go

I never meant to let you go

I never meant to let you go

I never meant to let you go

To let you go, oh

These lyrics convey a deep sense of regret, loss, and confusion. The narrator reflects on something precious they had but lost due to a mistake or series of mistakes. The tone is introspective and sorrowful, capturing the feelings of guilt and longing for a second chance. Here's a breakdown of the themes and emotions in the lyrics:

 Themes and Emotions

1. **Regret and Loss**: The repeated lines about having "this thing to call my own" emphasize the profound sense of loss. The narrator had something valuable, which slipped away, leaving them with a lingering regret.

2. **Mistake and Consequence**: The lyrics "Just one slip and it was gone" and "A minor flaw and then it fell" highlight how a seemingly small error led to significant consequences. The realization that their actions led to the downfall of something important adds to the weight of their guilt.

3. **Guilt and Confusion**: The narrator feels overwhelmed by guilt ("This wave of guilt is drowning me") and confusion ("I'm so confused, I cannot see"), struggling to comprehend what exactly went wrong.

4. **Longing for Redemption**: The desire for a second chance is strong, as shown by the line "I'd give it all for a second chance." This longing for redemption and the opportunity to correct their mistakes is a central theme.

5. **Nostalgia and Yearning**: The lyrics express a yearning for the past and what used to be ("I don't remember anymore what I used to be," "There was a fire burning strong inside of me"). This nostalgia underscores the profound impact of the loss.

6. **Isolation and Pain**: The mention of feeling like a "razor to my soul when I'm alone" and the repetition of "I never meant to let you go" reflect the narrator's pain and sense of isolation.

 Interpretation

The lyrics can be interpreted in various ways depending on the context. They could represent:

- **A Personal Relationship**: The loss of a significant other due to a mistake, leading to deep regret and longing for reconciliation.

- **A Personal Achievement or Possession**: Losing something valuable, such as a job, a home, or a personal project, due to an error or lapse in judgment.

- **Self-Identity**: A broader sense of losing one's way or identity, feeling disconnected from who they used to be and struggling to find their way back.

 Conclusion

The lyrics poignantly capture the emotional turmoil of losing something cherished and the subsequent feelings of regret, guilt, and longing for what once was. The repetition of certain lines underscores the depth of the narrator's feelings, making the sense of loss and desire for redemption palpable.